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Between the Bookends

by Feeny

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1.
We talked about it again before you left Before I felt my tongue grow heavy And dampen all the thoughts inside my head They spark apart in turn and feed my dread The feeling Of leaving I don't wanna talk about this any more than you But while I clamor for an answer I stagger from the truth You're the reason that I stayed Though I'd hate to see you go away I need to know Writing letters that I'll never send Tearing canvas I don't intend to mend Out of all the people that I've met You will be the hardest to forget Will I fade Away I don't wanna talk about it Any more than you But as I clamor for an answer I stagger from the truth You're the reason that I stayed Though I'd hate to see you go away I need to know Are you leaving Are you leaving me Just tell me the words to make you stay Just tell me that things will be okay Just make things out to be the same Just make it okay delay the pain Cuz I don't wanna talk about this any more than you But I think that you need answers and we both know the truth As much as I want you to stay There's nothing I could ever say I'll let you go Are you leaving Are you leaving me In the last days of our youth Where we saw through the sinew Your red hair your blue coup In the place where I lost you
2.
PUZO 03:03
You can drop me Honey, I know you will That won't stop me From feeling this for you I would regret If I ever left the time When you drove me. You're forever on my mind. Honey, I know you well But I still can't tell If you feel the same Honey, you know my name When I hold you It's strictly as a friend Lacking courage To risk a sudden end Darling nothing is perfect But I swear you're right for me. Should we stop this? Should I voice my plea? Honey, I know you well But I still can't tell If you feel the same Honey, you know my name Honey, I got a question. Do you think you could meet me Outside my house tonight, And drive me anywhere? I just wanna be with you, still allured by your auburn hair. In your beetle, with the top down, trying not to stare. Honey, I know you well But I still can't tell If you feel the same Honey, you know my name Honey, you know my name.
3.
Bookends 04:05
You were looking beautiful last night as we walked down Easton Ave. Suddenly I was drawn from the moment. I wanted to enjoy this but I can't. It’s 2 AM the pipes are howling I glide from you on pine that murmurs of my wandering So you wake to comfort me To mask your guilt so desperately I bite my cheek to keep from smiling You can't have what you wanted So you try and settle Stack me on the shelf leave me by myself Give me volumes of letters to read Give me breathing holes to breathe I'll admit that in the end You were better as a friend Though I'd do it all again I'm between the bookends I languish in my cell tonight And dwell on what could never be Even though I disagree I acquiesce to keep the peace And stoke the fragile hope that you stay away from me You can't have what you wanted So you try and settle Stack me on the shelf Leave me by myself Give volumes of letters to read Give me breathing holes to breathe I'll admit that in the end You were better as a friend Though I'd do it all again I'm between the bookends I collected dust for years Fulfilling all my fondest fears Departing from your atmosphere A voyage that brings me to tears Cuz I'm between the bookends This is something I can't say (change your mind) But I see no other way (change your mind) I will not beg you to stay (change your mind) This is something I can’t change (Change your mind) This is something I can't change Hearts beat in reverie In a dream, you were with me You'll live in memory Do you ever think of...
4.
Better Off 04:21
I've spent December dwelling on the subject of our demise I've found no sane or salient argument contrary to your being right As the evidence overwhelms me I tear down my lie That I could rise above this If only I tried If you're better of without me Then what the hell am I? Are you're better off without me Don't tell me why I hope we get in trouble tonight I hope it lasts (I hope it lasts) We're moving forward from the prologue of our life and so we pass From something current into memory At once I start to grasp The truth that all this is temporary Someday I'll forget your laugh If you're better off without me Then what the hell am I? You're better off without me Don't tell me why I wanted to tell you that things would get better That I could forget her if we stayed together But we both knew It was not true There are things that I can't change about myself and it kills you A coldness I reflect that makes me sorry it's me who Exhausted you I know that I let you down If you're better off without me Then I won't even try. Are you better off without me? There are things that I'd like to say like I'm sorry and I understand why you couldn't stay but I wish you had
5.
IDWK 04:29
You talk a little faster when you're lying to me So I knew your words conveyed an honesty The cadence and candor of a deafening whisper Signs of farewell given in quavering timbre This happened before and I know it’s gonna happen again From something more you return to only being a friend Out out goes this brief candle Extinguishing our final light The curtain will fall as the room grows dimmer I take my cue exeunt into night This happened before and I know it’s gonna happen again From something more you return to only being a friend Why would you say it If you didn't mean it At least a little bit Then why would you Oh oh oh I don't wanna know If you're leaving please just go Cuz I don't wanna know I don't wanna know I'm sure that someday someone will love me But I'm begging on the floor where we lay I am praying that person is you and that That day is today This happened before and I know it’s gonna happen again From something more you return to only being a friend in the end Oh oh oh I don't wanna know If you're leaving please just go 'Cuz I don't wanna know I don't wanna take things down then we box them away Now we'll lower our gaze when we're in the same place Take my love and replace it with pain Cuz it's over Oh oh oh I don't wanna know If you're leaving please just go 'Cuz I don't wanna know I don't wanna know I don't wanna know I don't wanna know I don't wanna know Out of all the people that I’ve met You will be the hardest to forget
6.
Maybe 03:33
Maybe we could just be friends Maybe I won't have to follow Familiar threads that guide me But in the end, unravel Maybe we could just pretend That we won't fall apart Maybe we could circumvent The end, stall the break of our hearts All I know Is I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go Of this You're all I know And I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go Maybe we were never friends. Maybe this will never matter. Maybe you'll forget the times we shared, by the time my ashes scatter. I recollect the days we spent Sometimes I even miss your friends Your sister’s starting high school soon If I did the math right? Then again... All I know Is I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go Of this You're all I know And I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go So I won't You are the first and last thing Entombing all my memories The reason why I can't sleep If I'm lucky you'll see The promise I am making That one day I'll be breaking You are the reason why my heart has stopped, my voice is shaking All I know Is I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go Of this You're all I know And I don't wanna let go I shouldn't have to let go So I won't
7.
Alacrity 04:22
Stay, sweet idyllic youths of May Will your values stay the same As your summer starts to fade? Wait, for the laugh that makes you shake Tone to which your comfort breaks Your bones now have turned to clay I'll sway, till the note starts to decay I will quake to your dismay, I will smolder in your haze So stay sweet idyllic youths of May May you never halt your ways, may your heart race once a day There is nothing wrong with excitement An alacrity in your voice They'll try to destroy your passion and joys it's true There is nothing wrong with you "Such a brilliant observation But I'm immune to your assertations" They say you deserve this, they make you feel worthless "I’m the gray above the pines Harbinger of darker times" Stifle the voices, that poison your choices There is nothing wrong with excitement An alacrity in your voice They'll try to destroy your passion and joys it's true There is nothing wrong with you We could eke out an escape If we left our things today... There is nothing wrong with excitement An alacrity in your voice They'll try to destroy your passion and joys it's true There is nothing wrong with you
8.
Fallow 04:04
Hollow gaze in your eyes, Our fallow days didn't survive I followed your imperfect plan Carved for your "better" man And I fell Farther than You could tell I see how I see how you see me I see now That we could never be I reach out For hands to hold And smother Love until it's cold You're everything that's keeping me here rather than running away And in the throes of confusion, your smile forces me to stay Some days I try to find fault where there is none By night I feel your pull and know you've won But as I watched the door shut behind you As the night eclipsed our sun I thought Maybe I should have run Everything we had was broken Recognizing all your faults This is better left unspoken But I'm savoring our fall Lingering on ended moments Madness wears the guise of love Everything we had was broken Everything we have is done
9.
Two weeks later I read the report Recalled that winter afternoon spent sitting on your floor, the stories of your... The stories of your high school days How your parents removed your door Did you ever feel like a guest in your house? Did anyone ever assuage that doubt? No I felt like a thief reading about your life the reporter drew you with a knife Void of all sympathy and explanation He left no room for retaliation I read about the car you stole I read about your father's funeral In his obituary, it said he was survived by you Sadly that's no longer true And I'm confronted now with harrowing logic Shoved down my throat, impossible to dodge it One day you will read my name in the very same paper Reduced to my birthplace and college major This will be the subject that all of my friends talk about for at least the next few months Intermittent like a tragedy, your name shall come up. (You were notorious, I thought you avoided us, they sent you to Florida) All our memories and dreams are swiftly fading from All of the people You associated with, one by one An ever-shrinking list One by one they will be someone I miss One by one we go into the mist One by one we shall cease to exist One by one our memories will be eclipsed One by one will I be someone you miss?
10.
Fading Away 05:57
I think I'm fading away I think I'm falling out the picture and crawling down from the frame Give me a few more months before you forget my name Or the place we met. Am I one to forget? I think I'm fading away I think I'm fading away More often I am finding less and less to say Punctuated by the silence, I abstain from all The ways you try to be cool Always verging on cruel I can't hear my mouth My words are drenched in doubt There are things I'd like to say But they always slip away Again As I fade again Away again I fade again I think I'm fading away I've become impertinent and fear my words will stay strangled in obscurity 'cuz one cannot be great and stay comfortable Success always stems from struggle I can hear my mouth My words still filled with doubt but all the things I want to say Come pouring out anyway Again As I fade again Slip away again I fade again Our last vestige of youth Alluring us and eluding us I'm alluding to the delusion that I still need you

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Betweenthebookends.net

TheLastDaysOfOurYouth

credits

released May 8, 2020

Matthew Koerner - Lyrics, Vocals, Guitar
Jordan Miller - Drums
Matthew Mahler - Guitar, Vocals
Joe MacPhee - Bass, Vocals

Adam Cichocki - Production, Mixing, Mastering, additional instrumentation

Cover art photography by Aleks Kordal
Cover art layout and design by Rich Weinberger

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Feeny New Brunswick, New Jersey

New Jersey band formed in friendship, chaos and trust.

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